Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
