Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
