Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
