There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize