I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
