Define "chronic" masturbator.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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