He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize