I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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