We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
