PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
