i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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