somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
