I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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