I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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