I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
handjob tips. give me some.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
