"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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