Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
