your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
