I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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