I am in a vortex of obligation.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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