I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
