i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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