If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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