"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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