Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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