He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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