youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
