So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
