Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
