I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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