My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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