Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
