it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
