and she was petting her beer can
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just had sex on a roof
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
