pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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