You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
