Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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