What a fucking waste of an outfit
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
