Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
