Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
ttyl tear gas
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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