Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
