I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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