He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I'm going to jail i love you
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
