i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
