More tranny stories later!
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
