i can't believe i had my finger in that
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
