Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize