I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Umm I'm too high to move.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
where does the pee come out of this thing
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
