The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize