How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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