he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
