She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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