No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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