I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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