if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
