Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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