We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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