Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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