Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
