Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize